In the magazine business, the back page is where you find all the weird goofs that can’t fit anywhere else. Some call it a “filler”. We like “whole pages to make scary jokes that are tangentially related to the content of the magazine”.
I don’t have a (paper) page on the internet, but I still love bad jokes. back pageToday, with a Super Mario Bros. movie looming in the not-too-distant future, we wondered what it would be like if Mario had his own sitcom…
“Mario, coming soon to a streaming platform near you, none.”
uh… we wish It was coming quickly. Just recently, I came across what I believe to be a significant series of pre-production documents related to the “Mario” sitcom, which seemingly fell through. The document includes the main casting of his character, his cole, and his four scripted scenes featuring Mario himself, Luigi, Peach, Toad, and Bowser.
The sitcom itself was pitched as a “nothing show” depicting Mario’s daily life and his friends (and a few enemies) in the Mushroom Kingdom. do you want? What did you do today? Maybe you’re munching on brie and lounging on the couch watching 90 Day Fiancé? Well, there’s your show! it’s a show.
however, sounds very familiar to someNevertheless, for a glimpse into the main cast of characters, check out this copy of the cast call we got below. Please give me.
The fun doesn’t stop there! Below is a sample Mario pilot script. Core depicts his four scenes featuring his characters and the situations in which they find themselves…
Naigai Rakitu Cafe – Lunch
Mario and Luigi are sitting in a booth drinking coffee and discussing Mario and Peach’s breakup.
Luigi: Why do they make sugar cubes? What’s the point of sugar cubes? Simply put the sugar in a container and just How much money do you need? The cube must be very precise. One is too small and two is too many. Ridiculous.
Mario: Luigi, can you add a cube?
Luigi: add, add So what happened last night?
Mario: Well, I ironed my clothes, watched a bit of Yoshi’s Love Island, and ate some pretty good burritos.
Luigi splashes out on coffee.
Luigi: wait wait her whatWhat’s this?
Mario: she gave me everything “It’s not you, it’s me” routineCan you believe it?
Luigi: You invented it!
Mario: know! But we are still friends. In fact, she’s coming tonight to get an air conditioner from Toad.
Luigi: Why does Toad have a spare air conditioner?
Mario: I don’t understand why the toad has anything?He’s a mystery.?
Luigi: truth.
Luigi sipped his coffee and quickly spat it out.
Luigi: oh, wow… look? Too sweet!
Naigai Mario’s Apartment – Noon
Mario is standing at the kitchen counter eating cereal. The apartment’s front door bursts open and Toad slides in at full speed.
Toad: Hi!
Mario: hey whats up?
Toad: Listen, I’ve got an idea for your plumbing business, Mario. Love that.So you stay there grafting for hours on end and you think “Hey you, This plumbing is making me thirsty!“, but you left your water bottle at home!Well, listen to this… hexagon neck water bottle. Bottles can be used as the main tool for tightening bolts when repairing pipes etc. When You can quench your thirst at the same time!
Mario: Toad, that sucks, do you want to put something in your mouth that I touched the toilet pipe? Plus all the water will fall off!
Toad: Comes with a microfiber cloth and a spill prevention mechanism, Mario, I got it all!
Mario: No, I don’t think so.
The apartment door buzzer rings. Mario answers.
Mario: yes?
peach: It’s Peach!
Mario: please come on
Toad: So what do you think?
Mario: No, of course not!
Toad: Oh, it will make your life so much better!
At the open apartment door, a figure can be seen. It’s Bowser. Mario and Bowser look at each other with sheer disdain.
Mario: hello, Bowser.
Bowser: Hello, I’m Mario.
Mario: what will you do you I want?
Bowser: I came to return the air conditioner to Toad. outside the door.
Toad: good, thank you! Yeah, it’s for Peach.
Bowser: peach? Really? is she here?
Mario: Don’t even think about it!
Bowser: Oh Mario, you gotta help me out here What kind of stuff is she into? Where does she like to eat? something!
Mario: If you were the last Bowser in the mushroom kingdom, Peach wouldn’t date you, I promise you!
Bowser: curse you Mario.
Peach arrives at the door and enters the apartment.
peach: Hello friends!
She notices Bowser, her smile falling faster than a bowling ball.
Bowser: Hello Hello-
peach: If you were the last Bowser in the Kinoko no Kingdom, bro.
Bowser: Drat! Well then, let’s go. Thanks for the ‘help’, Mario… I hope you don’t get the mail lost The days to come… Bye-bye… Mario……Ehehehehehe!
Bowser leaves in cruel pleasure.
Mario: [under his breath] Bowser!
Naigai Paulins Pullover – Day
Mario helps Luigi find a birthday present for Peach. They find themselves in Pauline’s Pullover, a clothing store in the Mushroom Kingdom’s commercial district.
Luigi: Look, do I really need Peach to get such an extravagant gift?
Mario: She interviewed you for a job, which is the least you can do!
Luigi: I know, but I don’t know what to get. What will you give the princess?
Mario: Well how about this?
Mario picked up a nice pink cashmere sweater.
Luigi: What is this – cashmere?
Mario: I think so.
Luigi: Who doesn’t like cashmere? Come on, that’s too expensive.
Mario: Wait Wait. Hey, it’s 50 coins down from -500!
Luigi: what? How?
Mario: Oh… look… there’s a red dot here. can you see it? The label says “non-replaceable”.
Mario gives Luigi a sweater.
Luigi: do you think she cares about the red dot?
Mario: Hard to say!
Luigi: I don’t think she notices it – can you see it?
Mario: looks good, i know where it is.
Luigi: Pretend you don’t know… can you see it?
Mario: I can’t pretend, I can already see it – I can’t see what I have already seen!
Luigi: Look, look at the overview!
Mario: Want an overview? Saw a cheap guy trying to get away with something, that’s my overview!
Naigai Mario’s Apartment – Noon
It’s Peach’s birthday. She enters Mario’s apartment. Mario and Luigi are already hanging out, and Luigi is anxiously waiting to give Peach her birthday present.
peach: Hello!
Mario: happy birthday!
Luigi’s nerves rise.
Luigi: Happy birthday, Peach-hehe. I, uh, I got you something.
Hand the wrapped cashmere sweater to Peach.
peach: Oh, Luigi, you didn’t have to!
She rips off the wrapping with an elegant blow. Her mouth widens into a big smile.
peach: Oh my god, is this cashmere..?!
Luigi’s confidence returns at once. he grins.
Luigi: Of course cashmere!
peach: wow this is awesome! This is one of the coolest things you’ve ever done. It must have cost a lot. Mario, why did you let him spend so much money?
Mario: Oh I tried to stop him, believe me!
Peach wears a cashmere jumper. Meanwhile, Toad slips into the apartment.
Toad: Yo! Happy Birthday, Peach! Oops, nice sweater, is this a new one?
peach: Oh yeah, Luigi got it for me – nice.
Toad: Yeah, except for that red dot.
Confused, Peach turns to Toad. Mario and Luigi look at each other and are frightened.
peach: what? !
She notices stains on the cashmere and drops her face.
peach: What is this? ! Luigi..??
Peach looked up with her face red with anger. Luigi has already sneaked out of the apartment.
It says “hit”, right? I don’t understand why this is past pilot season. Perhaps Netflix will bring it back as an alternative approach or counterpart for the upcoming Super Mario Bros. movies. Loki in the mario movie the avengers! definitely.
If you have any other thoughts about Mario and his companions. Let us know in the comments if you think they might be represented in film or television.
