F-Zero Warriors? A Game And a Tax Write-off – Feature

We are not attorneys or certified financial planners. We’re nothing more than knowledgeable turbo geniuses with a sniff for doing business. Advice herein does not constitute certainty of outcome and all financial decisions involve risk. This risk also includes ignoring these projections.

I made a profit of $1 billion from selling Mario Kart Warriors, and now the IRS is looking for my share.

Nintendo could deal with this windfall by extracting an immeasurably small fraction of its wealth from a Scrooge McDuck-esque vault, but Koei Tecmo may not have lifeguards to watch executives swimming in pools filled with gold coins. is high.

The time has come for the two partners to help each other.

I need an offset. Call an accountant and an architect. Because we’re building a new office, which he’s going to budget for one game.

Now comes the problem. Streaming services are way ahead of us in the video game industry in this regard. They tried to get a piece of the pie during the insatiable demand for content that came with the pandemic, producing tons of content to satisfy the then fledgling streaming services. More recently, it has removed “underperforming” series and movies from its service, effectively leaving multi-million dollar productions in the memory.

This goes beyond the production studio’s traditional practice of simply canceling shows. This is an actual erasure and will no longer be available.

Look at this list.

• At Home with Amy Sedaris
• close enough
• last space
• metalocalypse
• Space Ghost Coast to Coast

“Whiskey-drinking sharks are very dangerous, but beer-drinking sharks are beer engineers.”

why would they do this? Cost savings and write-downs.

If the show is still available for streaming, you can earn “earnings”. Tracking the contribution of specific content to revenue from these streaming services is not trivial, but not material for tax purposes. If you want to say that your content is no longer generating revenue, delete it.

Did the show “cost” $20 million and “incur” $4 million? That’s a loss that can be used to offset the profits of Mario Kart Warriors.

Photo: Profit. is our enemy.

We want disposable games that can be loaded at irrelevant costs. Need to refurbish the in-house cafe? Need a new drawing tablet for the artists? Is it time to replace the air conditioning system?

You also want a game that doesn’t hurt your brand if it becomes unavailable.

Nintendo’s most incestuous game is gone.

probably, Any This game is one that Nintendo may pull out of. They’re downloadable games he just spent two whole systems, but we’re here to make more money. You can’t wait 10 years to withdraw it.

We need a sure loser and we can’t take risks producer A twist of style here.

It takes one hero, Mr. EAD, to keep people from buying this game.

just imagination Spent 90 hours staring at Mr. EAD’s ass. I feel nauseous just thinking about it.

We need a terrible game that presenters Koizumi and Takahashi are visibly shaken after being revealed in a Nintendo Direct. You shouldn’t telegraph that this game makes anyone happy, even for a nanosecond.

how to hate this game

“F-ZERO series revival!”

I want this tagline to be the second thing viewers see. The first is the streak of light. Perhaps the taillights of an F-Zero race car zipping through the darkness. As it fades into the pitch black void, a familiar voice shouts, “Show me your moves!”

Photo: Hook.

After turning black, the words “A Rebirth of the F-Zero Series” pop up in my eyes. The F-Zero hype is now running high enough. His 11 living fans of the series are about to feel the hammer coming down on them.

That hammer is Warriors gameplay. His three-minute trailer promoting F-Zero’s “new vision” is peppered with cuts of nothing but the blandest punches of a ton of common enemies. At the end is the “F-Zero Warrior: Bounty Racers” logo. Stinger is a flirtatious Octoman throwing anime-style kisses (with floating hearts) directly at the camera while winking.

“Ara~ Ara~”

people will be outraged. Remember Metroid Prime: Federation Forces? Some audience members lost their minds even though it was clearly a spin-off and meant in no way to interfere with other Metroid games. Granted, there are fewer F-Zero fans still holding out hope, but this one is far more weaponized.we call this reproduction and new direction. Now that you’ve set the hook, all that’s left is to involve the bad word of mouth.

Speaking of Metroid fans…

Piss off your Metroid fans

“Access denied.”

Samus could easily exist in the world of F-Zero, so let’s just go with it. This is a bounty game, right? It “leaks” rumors that Samus will be in the game, and later drops a trailer to back it up.Become infallible The trailer shows her literally consulting with Adam Malkovich before doing anything. It would also be nice if she could express her emotions by watching what killed her entire family. Metroid fans hate it.

Why piss off fans of a completely unrelated series? Well, the first is easy. And it’s fun. And they deserve it. But fourth, they are good at generating bad word of mouth, and we absolutely want the reputation of this game to be detrimental.

Comments are open!

Nintendo has a history of ridiculously negative trailer ratios on YouTube. However, perhaps succumbing to advertiser pressure, Google hid the thumbs up/down ratio and instead displayed only the number of thumbs up. The best thing we can do to commemorate the poor response is to allow comments to be added to the trailer. The trick is to turn them on and garbage to police them. Don’t watch, don’t read, and of course, don’t manage this sure valley of suffering. Let “journalists” with a lower reputation than you create truly free content… I mean articles documenting the worst commentary.

Let this cauldron whisk for a month, then send divers to extract the most obvious sarcasm and “positive” comments. Use these to put together a standard “praise” trailer and project absolute sincerity. Pretend you believed him when he said, “I sold a PS5 and a copy of Final Fantasy XVI to play this game.” Feature their comments prominently in a parade of toxic praise.

Leave comments enabled for this video as well. This pattern can be repeated as many times as desired, with each video ensuring new content for the next.

Starfox is not spared

“Dad… Dad?”

everyone hated Star Fox Racing’s idea, even if it wasn’t real. Now, here comes James MacLeod. The obnoxious human fox from F-Zero meets the real Fox McLeod. That’s right, the entire Star Fox team is here. You can see it in the praise trailer.

Nintendo’s first “Cinematic” universe is here! What better game than a Warriors game to showcase the fact that Metroid/F-Zero/Starfox are in the same world? Warriors games are all about weird standard events. Now he has three absolutely angry fanbases.

PREMIUM PRODUCTS AT PREMIUM PRICES

this is no Just a Warriors game. It’s a F-Zero/Starfox/Metroid game. You can’t charge just $60 for this kind of milestone. If Tears of the Kingdom has him worth $70, so should this one.

Also, Star Fox will be in the game, but only playable via the Day-1 DLC. Think again about the “premium product”.

premium. product.

It’s Time to Test Your Accounting Magic

You have to lose a lot of money for this game to serve as a write-down. But if you want to use it for what some might call “tax fraud,” you’ll have to “lose” a lot of money.

What is the distinction implied within the quotation marks? Actual loss versus accounted loss.

Let’s say you made F-Zero Warrior: Bounty Racers so well that it managed to sell zero worldwide. All the yen invested will not be recovered. You can even write down the entire game. But what did we get?Sure, we set the money on fire and joined the current zeitgeist of delisting hard-earned content, but it really wasn’t. keep some money. We’d rather spend more money making games than have tax relief.

No, if you want to maximize the bottom line on this deliberately failed project, you’ll have to factor in the many other costs likely to accompany future projects that were actually meant to be sold as full-fledged products. . You now have assets in your hands that you can use for future successful projects without cost. And yet, all their expenses went to this stinking tax haven.

Is this illegal? Probably.

will you get caught? who can say

Let’s see the list of things in play:

• New Warriors engine with no lag
• Modern art assets for Starfox and Metroid
• A Switch marketing campaign that spends 99% of its time talking about the system and 1% talking about the game itself
• Legal costs of keeping the F-Zero trademark up-to-date
• Future Smash Bros. Art Assets for Captain Falcon and Crew
• New Metroid Music Reusable in Prime 4
• New Voice Lines for Upcoming Smash Games
• Improving the CI/CD pipeline at Koei Tecmo
• Multiple business dinners

tax law? It’s for assholes without tax accountants.

Do these deductions apply to Japanese companies as well? Unclear! After reading a PricewaterhouseCoopers International article on Japanese tax law, it seems like it’s only 10% of gross profit, so let’s bring that number down.

What’s the gameplay like?

who cares! Ultimately, we need this to be as jarring as possible, so Captain Falcon should be saying smash one-liners so consistently that pre-patch Xenoblade Chronicles 2 seems downright shy. Mario Kart: His Warriors spent time and energy adapting the racing format to the Warriors series, but this game shouldn’t do that at all. Punches and kicks on the map, but nothing he recommends other than hearing “Falcon Punch” 12,000 times an hour.

Conclusion is…

I believe F-Zero Warrior: Bounty Racers is a significant business opportunity to invest in the long-term protection of our multiple technology pipelines, artistic endeavors, and corporate intellectual property. This product is so undesirable that I believe delisting it would actually get a positive response of “they’ve realized their mistake and are turning around.”

But most importantly, it creates the ballast needed to offset the enormous potential of its predecessor while contributing to its long-term success in its own roundabout way. Finally, as an aspiring media company, this selective delisting for economic reasons would do a great job of sharpening Nintendo Pictures’ management team’s credentials as executives in the modern entertainment industry.