In 2014, Coffee Stain Studios released a game the world didn’t know it needed. With a trouble-making goat at its heart, Goat Simulator ushered in a new style of gaming that will bring smiles to your faces for years to come. Almost a decade after Coffee Stain’s whimsical Capricorn took center stage, there’s a new sequel that seems to build on the original. Goat Simulator 3 (yes, this is his second game in the series. How come you think so?) is that some aspects of the game are more ‘funny weird’ than ‘hahaha funny’. Even if there is, you can do it.
beyond the farm
If Goat Simulator was all about wreaking havoc in a small town, imagine the level of mayhem the entire open world brings in Goat Simulator 3. Why break what’s not broken, especially when the whole appeal of the game is to break as much as possible? All the spontaneous, low-pressure antics of the first game are still in the sequel. There are many more.
Players take the role of one goat. Sure, Goat Simulator 3 has missions. In fact, the game features a loose plot involving the goat Illuminati and building a goat castle to its highest level. The player can undertake different missions and by completing them earn to build a goat castle and unlock new areas inside. Anyone who wants to complete a story similar to this game is welcome. However, that’s not the main point of Goat Simulator 3. The idea is to have a blast, have fun, and cause problems in the world.
Goats themselves don’t move much. It can do somersaults in the air, but otherwise it’s a goat. Players can headbutt objects and people, and use their goat tongue to drag objects. You can also use the ‘baa’ button to scare people or get someone’s attention. That alone is worth a few hours of fun. What makes this game interesting, however, is the number of different toys Coffee Stain puts into the world.
License to Goat
By the time you hijacked cars, mowed down pedestrians, and explored the world, Goat Simulator 3 was starting to feel like the golden age of the Grand Theft Auto franchise. Remember when a friend or family member picked up a controller and went out and played in a sandbox without really knowing or caring about the context of the story? Being virtually immortal, it perfectly captures it without the downsides of dying. Blowing him up, dropping him out of space, or harvesting him with a harvester will almost never kill a goat.
Besides being able to steal cars and enjoy joyrides, the open world is full of random objects, complex devices and points of interest. As I played the game, I could find conveyor belts, huge cannons that aimed circles of fire straight up, and dozens of fans and other gusts that sent the action flying into the air.
Goat Simulator 3, like its main characters, is defined by over-the-top ragdoll physics, so when we say “in the air,” we mean all those words. People either fall completely or are blown away at the slightest contact. This creates even more incentive to blow up gas stations or cause similar disasters that randomly fly people and things into the air. The problem is that the ragdoll physics don’t take long at all to get to the point where they turn off at times without prompting. Occasionally I saw a person rubber band another pedestrian randomly, or a car teleport to a wall. These engine issues aren’t enough to completely ruin the experience, but they’re noticeable.
Coming back to deliberate mayhem, completing missions and tasks unlocks a variety of cosmetic items. Sometimes items are purely for show. They may also be required to complete certain quests. And then there are items with real functionality that add another ingredient to spontaneous fun. Functional clothing items serve gameplay purposes, such as a paraglider that helps you move. Most of the time, they’re completely outlandish, like a sacred hat that lets players send walkers straight up to heaven with the push of a button. The only problem here is that most functions map to the same button by default. In one instance, the captain I had on my back his Yankee to send people to the Great Far Away after realizing he had a shield mapped to the exact same button and was knocking people down on contact. I was having a hard time.
get a goat
Few games define “mindless fun” quite like Goat Simulator 3. This is video game junk food. There’s nothing serious here. There are no high-stakes stories, compelling characters, or bigger lessons about life. Coffee Stain also lets your friends jump into random events placed throughout the map. Up to four players can join the action in local split-screen or online and carve out their own path of destruction, but mini-games like King of the Hill require some to confuse the formulas. The competition of
Where Goat Simulator 3 feels limited is its engine. Admittedly, the ragdoll physics that seem to be pulled straight out of his Havok engine in the 2000s are a big part of this game’s appeal, but random AI quirks, pathfinding bugs, and sudden ragdoll snarls are a big part of the game’s appeal. Hiccup, or texture his pop-in. A game like this doesn’t need the latest engine to work, but it shouldn’t feel like it’s running limited.
There are problems with the game’s engine, but Goat Simulator 3 doesn’t make you feel guilty. As relaxing as the original game was in every way, it’s a reminder that games don’t always have to be taken too seriously.
This review is based on the Epic Games Store digital code provided by the publisher. Goat Simulator 3 will be available on PC, PlayStation and Xbox on Thursday, November 17th for $29.99 USD. The game is rated T.
