Pinocchio review: A cursed live-action Disney remake hits Disney Plus

Some of Disney’s big-budget live-action remakes of hand-drawn classics have done well financially, but have almost uniformly struggled creatively.David Lowery Is The Only Director To Crack The Code: His 2016 Tender Remake pete’s dragon It makes old movies feel fresh and new by actually telling a story. teeth fresh and new.Unfortunately the remake Aladdin, The Lion King, beauty and the beast, and others had less room to stretch. If people pay to see remakes of beloved Disney favorites, they expect the greatest hits to be repeated, from songs to signature moments. I can only hope. And it often pops up in small crevice moments, like bits in 2019. The Lion King A grown-up Simba kicks up a tuft of leaves floating in the breeze, pit-stops with a ball of giraffe dung, and then lands in front of Rafiki, a shriveled old mandrill.

Unfortunately and inexplicably, animal waste also features prominently in Disney’s latest self-cannibalism, Robert Zemeckis’ remake of the 1940 classic. PinocchioLike the animated version, Disney Plus’ live-action remake tells the story of a wooden marionette (CG creation voiced by Benjamin Evan Ainsworth) brought to life by the magical Blue Fairy (Cynthia Erivo). A journey to become fully human by embodying the traits of courage, integrity and selflessness.

As in the original film (and the Carlo Collodi children’s book it is adapted from), Pinocchio is personified like Jiminy Cricket (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) and the fox Honest John (Keegan-Michael Key). Encounter a stray animal. There’s a cruel, mustachioed impresario named Stromboli (Giuseppe Battiston), a hallucinatory Pleasure Island his theme his park, and other recognizable elements from the classics. Zemeckis brings live-action actors and digital technology to Polar Express When who built roger rabbit. but the new Pinocchio Through leaden dialogue in which characters talk about what makes someone truly real, Zemeckis and his co-author Chris Weitz capture the soul, no matter how hard they try to make it happen. lacking.

newPinocchio It gets off to a shaky start by skipping “When You Wish Upon A Star” which might be the most quintessential Disney song of all time. Jiminy Cricket in the original movie ‘2022’ Pinocchio Truncate it and give the shorter version to the Blue Fairy. Erivo has a truly phenomenal voice, as evidenced by the Tony Award winning Broadway version. purple colorHer playing of the abbreviated classic is lovely. However, passing her song to her makes Jiminy a less interesting character, much less present and passionate about her. This is a problem because it is meant to describe sexuality.

Changes pile up.Unlike the animated film, Geppetto (Tom Hanks, whose questionable Italian accent doesn’t befit his meme future) Elvis He also refuses to sell his dead wife’s treasured cuckoo clock. It also explains why. This features characters such as Rafiki and Simba, Roger Rabbit and Sheriff his Woody.

These are the answers to questions that are best left unasked — many of the original little touches Pinocchio They ignore explanations, so they are not forgotten. By passionately spelling out each emotion, Zemeckis and Weitz remove the potential for inexplicable complexity. The computer technology that brought Pinocchio to life isn’t as macabre as Zemeckis’ work, but Polar Expresswhich is mitigated by how clearly fake he is whenever there’s a shot of a human actor “touching” or “holding” a little wooden boy.

Image: Disney Enterprise

The outline of the story is very recognizable to anyone with even the slightest familiarity with animated and colloquial movies. Adventures of PinocchioHowever, since this is a modern film, it seems someone felt the need to ridicule the fantasy of the film itself a bit. Locked in an evil Stromboli cage, Pinocchio begins to lie, and as his wooden nose grows, Jiminy says, “I think there’s a little in the nose.” As Pinocchio rattles off his various adventures towards the end of the film, a puzzled character asks: One day?” Mimicking the classics and slyly ridiculing it seems vulgar, as if Zemeckis and his companions fear real feelings, determined to shield the audience from any sense of authenticity or sincerity. doing.

this Pinocchio It’s not a shot-for-shot remake of the 1940 film, but its slight addition is so baffling, in part, because it feels so insubstantial. were jettisoned in favor of four lifeless new songs by Alan Silvestri and Glenn Ballard. Each stops the pace of the story on its track. Hanks is responsible for two new numbers early on, and Hanks speaks and sings his own pathetic lyrics that rhyme “Pinocchio” and “Holy Smoky Oh.”

How Pinocchio gets captured by the Coachman (Luke Evans doing his best Disney animated Captain Hook impression) and stabbed by other kids to get to Pleasure Island is one of this remake’s most unavoidable problems. It suggests one thing: Zemeckis and company don’t want that. become as complex as their ancestors. The 1940 version of Pinocchio isn’t as aggressive and rowdy as his fellow boys from Pleasure Island, but he’s willing to jump into bad behavior by imitating his cigar-smoking fellow Lampwick.

However, his naive and childish selfishness only makes his eventual heroism far more redeeming. is essentially a good boy from start to finish, and many of the other characters, especially many of the newer human characters such as Stromboli’s surly headmaster and kindly performer, are both buzzwords for the word “real”. The travel show is as hollow as the wood that makes up the title character.

Image: Disney Enterprise

Pinocchio This isn’t the first Disney remake to transition directly to Disney Plus.Mulan Debuted at the premium tier of the service. ) It’s also not the first Robert Zemeckis-directed movie to skip theaters for streaming. (Coincidentally his witches An HBO Max remake is the only other serious contender. Pinocchio When Disney Plus first launched in 2019, one of the original movies on its opening day was lady and trump Predictable, lackluster, and totally unmemorable remake.

2022 Pinocchio There are unforgettable moments, but they all stand out for the wrong reasons. It’s a gross image of a film that otherwise doesn’t add scat humor, a gag that wasn’t in the original and has no purpose in the remake, and an oddity in a film that struggles to merge CG and live music. unnecessary cost. action element. But probably all tracks. Pinocchio ’22 is a top-to-bottom embarrassment that has no good reason to exist, so it’s likely that it features images that are equally lacking in creative logic.

Pinocchio Debuts on Disney Plus on September 8th.