calm down please. But for some reason we’re blessed with a timeline where the ironic relaxation machine PowerWash Simulator crosses over with the time-honored dark sci-fi series Warhammer 40,000. We only have a teaser trailer and a short description, but we’re still super excited.
“Wipe out the grim darkness of the distant future when Warhammer 40,000 comes to PowerWash Simulator,” writes developer FuturLab’s description. “Now that mankind stands on the edge of the darkest of times, wash away the dirt, what about a brighter future?” (Spoilers: No)
But you might say this sucks, this shouldn’t deserve 40k. Warhammer 40,000 literally has a dark, evil god of filthy, rotten, disgusting, disgusting things, so to me, this is completely canon. He’s named Nurgle and apparently that’s why we need to keep our aquarium clean.
“Ave Imperator, you despicable serf,” it will be. “A wicked force of evil has defiled the Divine Emperor’s most sacred chariots and armor, fortified fortifications, and other combat equipment. This filthy stain must be purified in the name of God.”
The concept is exciting, right? The world of Warhammer has a lot to clean up, blending baroque science fantasy aesthetics with gothic style and bizarre equipment of absurd and unfathomable scale. The list of things to clean is not exhaustive, but includes Power Armor, Warhound-class Scout Titan, Tarantula Turret, Drop Pod with Tarantula Turret integrated, Rhino Transport, Leman Russ Battle Tank, and other accessories. Something like a giant cathedral would be cool for Orcus. You can see my tendency here. I want things to be clean.
There’s no release date for Warhammer 40,000 x PowerWash Simulator yet, but I’m trembling with anticipation.
I’m not the only one feeling this sentiment, as the PowerWash simulator’s 32,000+ Steam reviews prove it to be 97% positive. Even PC Gamer gives the game kudos. “I am more powerful than ever,” said Rachel Watts. “It’s perfect for the stress of Elden Ring,” said Sarah James. “It’s the best Far Cry game I’ve ever played,” said Joshua Warrens.
This isn’t the first weird crossover PowerWash Simulator has had on record. I already have Tomb Raider and Final Fantasy VII, but Spongebob Squarepants are coming. It’s not a very serious game. Except for power washing. I am very serious about it.
