CES 2023 is in full swing. We’ve been drowning in specs for the better part of his week, and it’s starting to grate.Well, here are some great bits we found — a new range of 13th-gen, RTX 40-series gaming laptops (opens in new tab) High-refresh, low-response-time monitors sprinkled here (opens in new tab) But what about real scientific innovation?
I’d like to introduce you to a timeline of transforming technological marvels, but there are many others that seem to ring Gumpf’s golden bells of consumer marketing. Still, my spirits are somewhat lifted by the hilarious sprinkling of technology on the market.
So I was like, “Well, there are a lot of 16:10 gaming laptops out there, right? (opens in new tab) This year, “I give you the worst of Katie’s CES 2023: a wonderland of technological weirdness to set us right for a new year staring into the void that is the future of humanity.
Brought to you by Boredom™ in association with Future Publishing.
pissing contest
Let’s start with what helps your body stay healthy. It has a noble purpose and cannot be abused at all. Techniques for peeing. It’s not that I tend to do that, but my colleague swears that “any technology can be stolen.” To pee or not is another matter.
of U scan (opens in new tab) A health monitor in the shape of a piss pebble to put in the toilet. This little pee monitor not only helps you monitor vitamin deficiencies, estrogen, PH levels and more by analyzing your urine, it also presents the results through a handy mobile app. I don’t see many people intentionally buying technology to do that. I could be wrong, but I can almost hear our Jacob grimacing at all the filth through his computer screen.
This thing is smart enough to tell the difference between water from a human pee and a flush. Who peeing.
God tell me the Withings office that brought us this little thing doesn’t have these lined up in the office bathroom cubicle to monitor the vitals of its employees. Old Orwell now It’s lying in the graveyard.
thousand dollar rubik’s cube
Alright, this one is actually kind of cool, at least before I found the original price tag. The press release simply states, “A pitch-black glass cube…alive…you can change the geometry of the screen during gameplay. Words can’t describe it. It’s a sight to behold…”
If all those ellipses weren’t enough to awaken the WOWCube’s burning mystery, its internal connections use magnets to communicate. Magnets, how do they work? Unfortunately, this press release refuses to reveal WOWCube’s most intimate secrets. Well, while the crossover between Rubik’s Cube lovers and those who understand it is ambiguous, Insane Crown Posse (opens in new tab) The references are relatively niche, but at least WOWCube is a little more gaming related than anything on this list.
Pre-order on WOWCube (opens in new tab) is now open and the company will start delivering the first batch in “January 2023.” definite. The ‘Black Edition’ of the tip is $999, or $699 if you pre-order. So the Rubik’s Cube is steam deck (opens in new tab)? No thank you.
stick drift
Three years ago at CES, Sony Vision-S (opens in new tab)A concept sedan with a full wall of entertainment functions. It seemed like nothing more than a hype, but now the company is teaming up with Honda to make the dream a reality with the Afeela.
For your information, Afeela is Arabic name (opens in new tab), numerologically associated with social competence, companionship, and grace. Although the presentation emphasized the “feeling” part.
Of course, an AI-powered electric car with an integrated PS5.The worst part is the LED panel on the front of the car Might be so Used for some cool stuff, this will see where it goes.
As our Jorge admits, he doesn’t really feel the idea of total advertising trends (opens in new tab).
Don’t get me wrong, this car looks very luxurious. I have reservations if the company strays out of the main wheelhouse. Afeela hopes she only has 417 hours to live. (opens in new tab) Like Sony’s DualSense controller.
smell the waifu
aroma shooter (opens in new tab) Not only is it the worst name, but it also has the most perverted usage, so it very likely will take the crown of CES 2023. It’s a stinky tech necklace to send. Use “Solid State” cartridge (opens in new tab) It comes in a variety of flavors such as papaya, chamomile, and even soy sauce.
It’s essentially a wearable aroma diffuser, and only the company has managed to eliminate liquid and gaseous materials. This is a platform where you can “integrate smells into your favorite movies” and create and distribute your own digital smellscapes.
Ok, nothing weird about that. People have wanted to transmit smells digitally for a while. Maybe it will catch on, I thought.
Then watch the video below to see why. Deadly success. As our Robin said, it set a somewhat degenerate tone for the rest of today’s morning meeting.
Sure, it has incredible potential for gaming use, but there’s another exciting contender in the gaming space. OVR technology (opens in new tab)It’s a small module that hooks to the bottom of your VR headset instead of hanging around your neck.
Both can be pretty fun when used responsibly.
NFT anime PC accessories
Xtreme Saga, an anime from tech brand XPG last year (opens in new tab), has just launched a round of red-washed gaming gear from its Adata subsidiary. The peripherals and the PC case aren’t really that bad, but I have serious concerns about the anime it’s all based on. It’s also one of the worst anime I’ve seen.
Now you can base your entire PC setup on your main character. She’s a redhead badass with her positive attitude and who likes to kick ass.
A 2M:397 ratio of views to likes on YouTube speaks for itself.
